Funny Dating Quotes That’ll Make You Laugh (Or Cry)

Dating can be a wild ride—sometimes hilarious, sometimes tragic, and often somewhere in between. Whether you’re single, taken, or “it’s complicated,” these funny dating quotes will have you nodding in agreement (or rolling your eyes).

1. “Dating is just wondering why someone is single, then figuring it out.”

2. “I like long romantic walks… to the fridge.”

3. “Swipe right, regret later.”

4. “Love is blind, but dating apps have a zoom feature.”

5. “Dating is like a job interview, but with more wine.”

6. “I’m not picky, I just have high standards… said every single person ever.”

7. “I thought I had met my soulmate—then they texted ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re.'”

8. “First dates are just auditions for who gets to see your weird side first.”

9. “They say love will find you… but apparently, love doesn’t have my address.”

10. “Dating: because Netflix won’t cuddle you back.”

11. “Relationships are like WiFi—when you have it, it’s slow. When you don’t, you’re desperate to connect.”

12. “I need a relationship like a fish needs a bicycle… but hey, bikes are kinda cool.”

13. “Flirting is 90% looking at someone until they look back, 10% panicking.”

14. “My love language is sarcasm.”

15. “If he ghosted you, just remember: even Casper had unfinished business.”

16. “Dating apps are like thrift stores—you have to dig through a lot before you find a treasure.”

17. “I love you more than coffee… but please don’t make me prove it.”

18. “Single and ready to… eat snacks alone in bed.”

19. “Love is sharing your popcorn. Real love is letting them take the last piece.”

20. “Nothing says ‘romance’ like someone who texts back within the same decade.”

21. “I don’t chase men, but if he’s holding pizza, I might speed walk.”

22. “Dating me is like a roller coaster—thrilling, unpredictable, and sometimes makes you nauseous.”

23. “My type? Red flags with good hair.”

24. “Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.”

25. “I just want someone to look at me the way I look at dessert.”

26. “Date someone who makes you laugh… or at least doesn’t make you cry in the bathroom.”

27. “All I want is love… and maybe a castle. Is that too much to ask?”

28. “A good date is like a unicorn—rare, magical, and often imaginary.”

29. “If we go on a date and you order pineapple pizza, we are now just friends.”

30. “Love is great, but have you ever tried garlic bread?”